Career Calling Possibilities

Career Calling Possibilities

I’ve never really known what I want to be when I grow up. I know I still have time. I know I can always go back to school or get any certification I want or need when I do finally figure it out. But, considering that I’m graduating in August, I’d like to figure something out for myself to do and make money doing.

The thing is, and I don’t mean to sound pigheaded here, is that I am good at or passionate about many different things. I love science and understanding why things are the way they are, but lack the discipline and patience required for repeating experiments and writing lab reports. I am nurturing, kind, and caring, but I know I couldn’t both work with kids and have and raise my own little hoard of (ideally) three or four. I can’t sit in one place too long, but my hand-eye coordination is a bit lacking.

I love caring for others and am an empath, but I don’t care about theory, just hands-on practice. I would take disasters personally, because I am highly sensitive. All of this would make me a poor nurse.

I love to edit and rework others’ writing. I love to write, but cannot finish writing a novel or even post to a blog regularly. I love to read, but I cannot sit and finish one book; rather, I hop around from book to book and gradually finish them all. How can a writer not write and still support herself?

I am a talented lyric coloratura soprano. My voice has deepened slightly and become richer with age, and I almost like it now. I am now in the place I ought to have been while formally studying voice; meaning, I am now in a place where I am quite willing to take criticism and direction, where before I was a teenager and I knew absolutely everything and I was naturally talented, so I could always skate by on that. However, here we run into the same issue as with nursing; my highly sensitive self, whose sensitivity and empathy make me an excellent actress, would take any rejection from an audition to heart. Auditions are the name of the game in music. So, no performance career.

I have planned my wedding since the fourth grade, and dreamt of it much longer than that. I used to keep a binder full of documents with the details of my future nuptials. I did this into high school (what a romantic dweeb). I am personable, detail-oriented, and thorough; but is this only because I am planning my own future wedding?

I have always had a deep and profound love for anything beautiful. It moves me so deeply, frequently to tears, when I see something truly beautiful. I see beauty everywhere. It’s a wonderful way to be. I am practical and love functionality in my beautiful things, and I am also an excellent bargain hunter, which would make me a great interior designer. But, do I really want to go back to school?

There’s a lot to consider. I think I will simply finish the degree I have almost completed before I decide to do anything else. I don’t know what I’ll do in the meantime, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out. If you’ve got any tips, please leave them below.

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Monthly Goals for March

Monthly Goals for March

A new month has begun. How is it March already?! Here in the DC area March is practically spring, though yesterday and today have been bitterly cold. Next week should be better, and hopefully from there, as they said in the new Mary Poppins movie, there’s nowhere to go but up.

I have a few goals for the month of March. I hope to accomplish them in the next twenty-six days. It’s a reasonable request, but we’ll see. I’ll try not to beat myself up about it if I don’t accomplish them all.

This month, I’m going to try to blog five days a week. I’m shooting for Monday-Friday. I’ve noticed that when I sit down, determined to create, I typically do, almost prolifically. Writing leads to more writing, which leads to more content.

I’m also going to catch up on my journal entries. As a busy woman, I have a habit of typing my journal entries, promising myself to write them out in the paper-and-ink journal soon after. You can imagine how well this has gone lately, I’m sure. I just checked, and my last written entry is from September 14, 2018. I don’t journal daily, perhaps on average weekly, but it has been a few weeks since that one in mid-September.

I am going to finish the two library books that I checked out and mentioned in a previous post, and get more, and finish them too. Along that line, I am also going to read more blogs, a habit I have never truly had, but probably should begin.

Lastly, at least for this list, I’m going to begin working out at least three times a week again. I’ll work my way up to five days. I don’t care how long it takes. I need to exercise, for my physical, mental, and emotional health. I do exercise at work, where I regularly walk a few miles while lifting ten or more pounds over my head. But work doesn’t supply me with as many hours as I need to exercise.

These are some of my March goals. Do you have any monthly goals? Let me know how they’re going in the comments!

Trying to Adult

Trying to Adult

Everyone wants to improve. Change is the only thing that is constant in this world – change, and death, which is its own change. Improvement is a type of change, as well. We should all strive to improve, as we are humans, and humans are innately flawed beings. In the same vein, because humans are flawed, there is no way for us to achieve perfection, so improvement is always possible, no matter how large or small. I’ve taken a few steps to improve myself and my life lately, and I’d like to share them with you, perhaps as a source of inspiration.

I’ve been reading more. I’ve been reading novels, in particular. For some time I was in a rut of buying and checking out self-help books and essay collections, and found after a while that my mind was craving a story. Right now I’m reading Big Cherry Holler, the second book in Adriana Trigiani’s Big Stone Gap series, The Queen of the Night by Alexander Chee, and The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert.

In that vein, I have also been writing more. I’ve been trying to blog more, as you might have noticed, and I’ve been journaling again, too. Journaling especially has been helping with my mood, emotional wellbeing, and the general depth of my thoughts. It’s a lovely and difficult challenge to write, truly write and not just type how much I want to write and call it a day, every day. Sometimes what I write is absolute garbage that goes nowhere, but sometimes it is the beginning of the articulation of a concept that has been floating in my mind for ages.

I’ve been listening to more podcasts – news podcasts, TED podcasts, true crime podcasts – to keep myself aware and informed. Who knows, maybe it will allow me to be more interesting at future cocktail parties. I love stories, and podcasts are the modern, adult way of being read to or told a story, like many children are every night before bed.

I have been discovering different music. A great big thank-you and shoutout to the love of my life for introducing me to Lake Street Dive and reintroducing me to ZZ Ward. Music enriches my life, especially with my synesthesia, and brings me catharsis and true joy.

I have been purging my life of material things, mostly clothing and decorations. I wear the same twenty or so items in my wardrobe. I asked myself why I keep things I rarely ever wear, when someone else can love and get use out of them instead. I’ve cleaned out old and unused makeup, books that will never be reread and are not favorites to forgive that fact.

I’ve been taking extra care with my skin and hair. I’ll admit, sometimes I would slip up and not add my oils to my hair, or not moisturize my skin after a shower, but I have been much more consistent lately. I have also been taking my vitamins (yes, they’re gummies, but the pills make me sick) and my medications with perfect compliance.

I’ve been keeping up with my chores. I make my bed almost every single morning, only skipping that step when I know I will inevitably crawl back in it before bedtime. I have been dusting and vacuuming my bedroom and cleaning my bathroom with regularity.

I’ve been trying to be a responsible, proactive adult. Sometimes that can be difficult when one lives with one’s parents, especially in one’s childhood home. But, I am making a conscious effort not to fall into old habits and behaviors. Here’s to adulting!

Update – 24 January 2019

I’ve slowly been working on the novel, still as yet untitled. One day I wrote five pages in half an hour, and the next I wrote a half a page in an hour. But I am doing it. I am writing.

I’ve changed my main character’s name again. Cora didn’t quite fit. She’s Sofia now, and it feels right. Anyone who’s written may understand the struggle of a difficult character. Still, I love her for it, and I love her lots. She already feels like a friend.

I’ve written a lot in the past two weeks. I’m not sure I’m going to keep all of what I’ve written. I may condense it. The scene I’m thinking of specifically is nonessential to the story. It is, however, essential to the characters and their relationships, and leads to smaller conflicts between characters. So, in a way, I guess it is essential. Plus, there’s the fact that I don’t plan on going as in-depth as I have on the building of this relationship throughout the rest of the story.

I think the action I’m going to take regarding this is no action at all. I’ll keep what I’ve written, for now, and just keep writing. If I feel the need to add or edit, I’ll do it later. God knows I have a problem with going back to what I’ve written and editing or adding to it, so there’s no need to worry that the scene in question will be forgotten, because it most definitely won’t be.

Reading

In addition to rewriting the book I started, I’ve been doing a lot of reading. Some of it, unfortunately, has been rereading. But, sometimes you just need the company of an old friend. Mine are Rilla Blythe and Harry Potter.

The new books I’ve been reading (or, at least, new to me) are Tony’s Wife by my favorite contemporary author, Adriana Trigiani; An American Marriage by Tayari Jones; and Georgia, by Dawn Tripp. So far I’m enjoying them all. I’m the furthest along in An American Marriage, but I imagine Tony’s Wife will soon catch up to it.

Another book I was previously reading and will soon pick up again is Tuesday Nights in 1980 by Molly Prentiss, which interested me mostly because one of the three main characters has synesthesia. I cannot express how much I love to read about characters with synesthesia. It is one of the reasons I have realized that representation in general, whether based on gender, race, sexuality, religion, or anything else, is so important. I love to be represented, and others should experience the same joy.

But I digress. Like I said, I have been reading. Reading is good, but I feel it is a little bit of a cop-out for me. “But I’m reading! That counts for writing!” The truth is, writing counts for writing, and I can’t call myself a writer without doing that activity. Reading is essential to the process, but writing is more so.

What are you reading? Leave a comment down below!

Update

Update

Hello, everyone. I realize it’s been awhile. I honestly have no good explanation as to why.

I’ve been working on the novel with Vivien, whose name is now Cora. I’m entirely rewriting the thing. Of course, I haven’t deleted anything of the old version. I’m keeping it. I worked hard on it, and I don’t want to just throw it away. There’s some decent stuff in there, too. Besides, I read somewhere – I think it was Gail Carson Levine, the author of one of my favorite books from my childhood, Ella Enchanted – that you should never throw away anything you write.

So, I haven’t abandoned the almost fifty pages I had written already. I’m just rewriting the story. There was some lazy storytelling in the original, anyway. A hint to some vital information was revealed in a dream, which is quite possibly the laziest way of revealing information there is. Dreams themselves are not necessarily evil in writing, but they are typically a show of laziness or lack of imagination in the writer.

I’m also rewriting the novel from a different point of view. It’s completely changed my style of writing the thing, I think for the better. I’m about twenty pages along, and not as far in the story, but I also think that is for the better. There are scenes in the original that I always knew to be unnecessary, and I’ve added others that I think are much more pertinent.

Hopefully the story, as yet untitled, will not be complete garbage. I’m inclined to think it won’t be, but that could be my ego talking. I know the writing of the rewrite is good, at least, if the story is not necessarily genius. I will finish it, though. I must finish it. I must see it through, if only to get the idea out of my head entirely.

Walking the Walk

Walking the Walk

Well, I do a really good job of talking the talk. I’m trying to actually walk the walk.

Yes, you guessed it. I’m writing.

Well, I do write every day. But, I bounce around projects as I am inspired to write them. Sometimes I create even more projects for myself, which is silly, since I already have so many going. Regardless, I do write every day, and that writing is important, make no mistake. It keeps the conversation with myself going, and the creative juices flowing. It is practice, and practice is essential in any art. But still, careening from project to project, finishing and beginning and making progress on any number of them, is definitely not the most productive use of my time.

The book that I’ve been working on for about a year had eluded me for awhile. I’d write it in bursts, and stalled out with about forty pages written. While bursts are certainly better than nothing, if I truly want to be a writer, they aren’t a sustainable way of making a living. I signed up for NaNoWriMo, but I haven’t yet begun anything and I am now so far behind I don’t know if I’d ever catch up to where I should be by now. But, I still think I’ll try. I finally have an idea for it, at least.

I’ve also been reading fiction again, an excellent way to study how to write. I’m currently reading Tuesday Nights in 1980 by Molly Prentiss, The Brightest Star in the Sky by Marian Keyes, and Big Stone Gap by my favorite contemporary author, Adriana Trigiani. I had been reading all nonfiction, and while that was fine, my body ached for a story – a storybook, fiction. So I sold some old books that I don’t need in my future library and picked up a few new novels. I am enjoying them immensely.

But I digress. I’ve been trying to work every day on the novel I’ve begun, the one starring Vivien. I am, I am happy to report, on the forty-sixth page. Vivien lives!

Happy writing, all!