Hello, all. I know it’s been awhile, and I’m sorry.
Life has been busy. But that’s not an excuse, and it’s not the reason I haven’t been posting here. Sure, there’s been a lot going on – working about twenty hours a week, plus classes, plus self-care – but that’s not it.
Despite my medications, my exercising, my healthier eating, my caring for Brie, and using my SAD lamp, everything is hard. I’m tired.
If you asked me how things are going, I’d say, truthfully, “fine.” Things are fine; they really are. But nothing is “good.” Nothing is “bad,” either, but the grayness of everything lately is wearing away at me. Nothing makes me happy, but nothing makes me sad. Everything is fine. Everything is gray. Even my synesthesia seems subdued, which is like a physical manifestation of my lack of feeling.
Anyway, I’ll keep plugging away. I’ll do my homework, and go to work, and walk Brie, and exercise, and take my meds. Hopefully this will pass. There’s a quote from one of my favorite movies (Moonstruck), that I hope applies here, “Everything is temporary.”